Food for Thought for those of us who do not like to negotiate
The other day I met a very nice woman who told me that she basically NEVER negotiates. She takes things as they come and doesn’t quarrel with what she gets.
Money is not particularly important to her anyway and the stress of a negotiation is much too great. What is important to her in life is harmony and peace – that makes her truly satisfied.
This woman is absolutely right, and we should all learn a little bit from her attitude.
And precisely because harmony and peace of mind are most probably very important to most of us, it is worth taking a closer look.
The true art of negotiation is the win-win. Not one side emerges as a glorious winner, and the other quietly submits and accepts defeat, but both parties create a sustainable relationship in which each one benefits from the deal.
Win-win means becoming aware not only of one’s own, but also of the motives and needs of the other side and trying to find a solution together.
Isn’t that the strength of many women? Being able to take a close look at what others need and how they could bring added value to the relationship?
But beware, why don’t we look just as carefully at what we need ourselves or what we are entitled to, because win-win ultimately means give AND take.
Anyone who constantly tolerates and swallows what she is given without claiming her own point of view might feel permanently disadvantaged by this eternal succumbing – and this feeling is neither harmonious nor does it make you feel at peace with yourself.
Please also consider how the other party feels when it has come to a mutually satisfactory result that guarantees further successful cooperation: good! And definitely better than realizing that the own victory leaves behind the ‘other side’ in a bitter mood holding a grudge against this ‘victory’ or even resigning inwardly – both of which are not good conditions for further sustainable cooperation.
If you transfer the concept of negotiating or ‘not negotiating’ to the image of scales, then both scales are in perfect balance after the end of a successful negotiation, not one half sinking to the ground nor carrying the greater burden – there is harmony and calm! Allow yourself to be in perfect balance, you are worth it!